








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 24% |
| Smokes | 419 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 506 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 761 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,604 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 38% | 87 |
| #2 | Gibby | 35% | 96 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 35% | 34 |
| #4 | Kingnich2 | 33% | 88 |
| #5 | Leeroy | 28% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 38% | 87 |
| #2 | Gibby | 35% | 96 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 35% | 34 |
| #4 | Kingnich2 | 33% | 88 |
| #5 | Leeroy | 28% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingnich2 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Smam | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Gibby | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Leeroy | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingnich2 | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Smam | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gibby | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Leeroy | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zeldow | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibby | +6.40 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Smam | +3.14 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Zeldow | -0.62 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | Leeroy | -2.67 | 48 | 38 |
| #5 | Kingnich2 | -2.83 | 61 | 56 |





