








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 26% |
| Smokes | 534 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 392 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 268 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,692 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geir | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | AtishPapa | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | cM | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | craven | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | fshow | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | fshow | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | Leinaas | 47% | 45 |
| #7 | Spongefish | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | Buttleif | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | Chill Beavar | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leinaas | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Chill Beavar | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongefish | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | fshow | 83 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Buttleif | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Leinaas | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | AtishPapa | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | +1.79 | 58 | 75 |
| #2 | Spongefish | +1.55 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | cM | +0.75 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Buttleif | +0.67 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | Chill Beavar | +0.44 | 55 | 45 |





