








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,677 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justin Case | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Geir | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Chill Beavar | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | cM | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | fshow | 49% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Leinaas | 45% | 97 |
| #7 | jrMathletics | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | AtishPapa | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | VIPER | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | Spongefish | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leinaas | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | cM | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Chill Beavar | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | VIPER | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | 247 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Spongefish | 189 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Leinaas | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | cM | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Justin Case | 85 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongefish | +1.46 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Justin Case | +0.75 | 69 | 79 |
| #3 | cM | +0.46 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | fshow | +0.09 | 54 | 76 |
| #5 | Buttleif | -0.22 | 72 | 60 |





