








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1100 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1052 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,041 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongefish | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | fshow c'',) | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Buttleif | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | cM | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | fshow | 47% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Leinaas | 46% | 156 |
| #7 | Saft | 45% | 20 |
| #8 | Knikkaren | 44% | 52 |
| #9 | jrMathletics | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Geir | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leinaas | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Buttleif | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | fshow | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Knikkaren | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Geir | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | 354 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Leinaas | 203 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | cM | 154 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Buttleif | 114 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spongefish | 114 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongefish | +1.12 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | fshow | +0.95 | 61 | 77 |
| #3 | fshow c'',) | +0.82 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | cM | +0.57 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | Buttleif | -0.37 | 73 | 60 |





