








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Wingman | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1996 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1575 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2424 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1336 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,556,473 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cM | 51% | 180 |
| #2 | Spongefish | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Saft | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Knikkaren | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | fshow | 48% | 433 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jrMathletics | 47% | 45 |
| #7 | Chill Beavar | 46% | 156 |
| #8 | Buttleif | 45% | 97 |
| #9 | Kamikaze | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | Geir | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Chill Beavar | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Buttleif | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Geir | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Knikkaren | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | 763 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | Spongefish | 327 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Chill Beavar | 243 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | cM | 215 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Buttleif | 189 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongefish | +1.98 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | fshow | +1.44 | 62 | 72 |
| #3 | cM | +0.26 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | Buttleif | -0.14 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Geir | -0.44 | 43 | 67 |





