








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4684 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3317 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3470 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1176 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,533 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 48% | 42 |
| #2 | HANSEMINATOR | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | Fn-Riz | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | behanc- | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Litt- | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | EyeCandy | 42% | 76 |
| #8 | Disco Dolphin | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | LeJoop! | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | F1GO | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZukwiZ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Disco Dolphin | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Litt- | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | EyeCandy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | F1GO | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZukwiZ | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | TBall | 176 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | EyeCandy | 153 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | HANSEMINATOR | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | behanc- | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +2.50 | 63 | 81 |
| #2 | TBall | +2.25 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | +1.94 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | Litt- | +0.56 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | EyeCandy | -0.35 | 49 | 67 |





