










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3141 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3306 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3055 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,057 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fn-Riz | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | ZukwiZ | 67% | 57 |
| #3 | HANSEMINATOR | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Litt- | 59% | 76 |
| #5 | EyeCandy | 56% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | LeJoop! | 50% | 46 |
| #10 | lillegud | 50% | 96 |
| #11 | Hercraft ♿ | 49% | 103 |
| #12 | F1GO | 47% | 38 |
| #13 | LoVitZ | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disco Dolphin | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | TBall | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | EyeCandy | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | LoVitZ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 699 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Disco Dolphin | 334 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | lillegud | 177 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | LoVitZ | 174 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ZukwiZ | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +1.52 | 64 | 81 |
| #2 | TBall | +1.41 | 59 | 72 |
| #3 | Hercraft ♿ | +0.83 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | +0.79 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | kristo | +0.53 | 79 | 57 |





