








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1606 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1742 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1158 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,208 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | 59% | 76 |
| #2 | TBall | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | kristo | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | LeJoop! | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Disco Dolphin | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LoVitZ | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | F1GO | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | ZukwiZ | 40% | 70 |
| #10 | EyeCandy | 38% | 47 |
| #11 | HANSEMINATOR | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZukwiZ | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Disco Dolphin | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | EyeCandy | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | LoVitZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | LeJoop! | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 272 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | ZukwiZ | 185 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | LoVitZ | 177 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | behanc- | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Disco Dolphin | 146 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | +2.61 | 63 | 76 |
| #2 | behanc- | +2.07 | 63 | 81 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | +1.72 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | kristo | +0.83 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | Disco Dolphin | -0.13 | 41 | 72 |





