








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1166 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1319 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1429 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,726 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | Disco Dolphin | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | TBall | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | 45% | 85 |
| #5 | kristo | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LoVitZ | 42% | 76 |
| #8 | LeJoop! | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | F1GO | 40% | 53 |
| #10 | Litt- | 38% | 47 |
| #11 | Fn-Riz | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZukwiZ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | LoVitZ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | behanc- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | LeJoop! | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | kristo | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoVitZ | 257 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ZukwiZ | 224 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | TBall | 200 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | behanc- | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | HANSEMINATOR | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +2.98 | 61 | 81 |
| #2 | ZukwiZ | +1.92 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | TBall | +1.44 | 54 | 72 |
| #4 | Disco Dolphin | -0.55 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | kristo | -0.63 | 70 | 51 |





