








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 19% |
| Smokes | 681 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 526 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 379 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,498 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristo | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | behanc- | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | Litt- | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | TBall | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Fn-Riz | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LoVitZ | 37% | 54 |
| #8 | HANSEMINATOR | 37% | 30 |
| #9 | ZukwiZ | 36% | 42 |
| #10 | LeJoop! | 30% | 20 |
| #11 | Disco Dolphin | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoVitZ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | EyeCandy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Litt- | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | TBall | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoVitZ | 189 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | TBall | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | EyeCandy | 120 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | behanc- | 88 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +2.81 | 66 | 82 |
| #2 | TBall | +2.01 | 63 | 70 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | +1.79 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | kristo | +0.99 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Disco Dolphin | +0.77 | 58 | 67 |





