








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2914 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2623 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2616 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,226 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fn-Riz | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | HANSEMINATOR | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | Litt- | 58% | 69 |
| #5 | behanc- | 54% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Hercraft ♿ | 46% | 101 |
| #11 | LeJoop! | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | F1GO | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | kristo | 38% | 24 |
| #14 | Jürgen med umlaut | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disco Dolphin | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | behanc- | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | EyeCandy | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LoVitZ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disco Dolphin | 366 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | behanc- | 344 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | lillegud | 166 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | LoVitZ | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +1.33 | 65 | 82 |
| #2 | TBall | +1.32 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | Hercraft ♿ | +0.69 | 57 | 64 |
| #4 | ZukwiZ | +0.54 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | lillegud | -0.15 | 62 | 69 |





