








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 30% |
| Smokes | 954 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 565 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,821 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR <3 | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | El Diablo del fuego | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | Mr. Rainhold | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | BLÆST - Lukas | 53% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mads | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | Pølsen | 46% | 59 |
| #9 | [TS] Scoon | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | [TS] Slikolaj | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÆST - Lukas | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mr. Rainhold | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Pølsen | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | [TS] Action Johnson | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 190 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 142 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pølsen | 107 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mr. Rainhold | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | [TS] Action Johnson | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | +1.45 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | PrayForUkraine | +1.11 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | +0.61 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Nuller | +0.55 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.28 | 64 | 77 |





