








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 149 | 5% |
| Smokes | 970 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 748 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,393 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | Pølsen | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | [TS] Slikolaj | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | El Diablo del fuego | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nuller | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | BLÆST - Lukas | 37% | 52 |
| #10 | RR <3 | 35% | 17 |
| #11 | Mr. Rainhold | 32% | 22 |
| #12 | [TS] Scoon | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | 14 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | [TS] Slikolaj | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | BLÆST - Lukas | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Pølsen | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 237 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | 81 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pølsen | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | PrayForUkraine | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÆST - Lukas | +1.35 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | +1.21 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | El Diablo del fuego | +1.07 | 68 | 78 |
| #4 | Pølsen | +0.89 | 33 | 65 |
| #5 | PrayForUkraine | +0.53 | 66 | 53 |





