








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3316 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1042 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 927 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,375 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monty | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | Sora η©Ί | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | Krycerick | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Blaze | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Protox | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Blainezy | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | baker | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | Medik | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | steve | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhJay | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Blaze | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Protox | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | baker | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 291 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 210 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | OhJay | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Krycerick | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +4.29 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Blaze | +2.43 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | Krycerick | +1.70 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | Lumber | +0.22 | 64 | 76 |
| #5 | OhJay | +0.19 | 60 | 64 |





