








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1019 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1158 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1205 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,195 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethality | 82% | 33 |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | OhJay | 52% | 81 |
| #4 | ike^.- | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 50% | 56 |
| #6 | Lumber | 47% | 34 |
| #7 | baker | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 43% | 61 |
| #9 | Blaze | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhJay | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ike^.- | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | baker | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhJay | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sora η©Ί | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lumber | 159 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethality | +3.99 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | WDT | +3.03 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | ike^.- | +1.27 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | OhJay | +0.63 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Lumber | +0.01 | 60 | 74 |





