








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2737 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2767 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1900 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2514 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,120 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vexioz | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | Rhan | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | aWard | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | Dibble | 65% | 54 |
| #5 | HEN9NG | 64% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | peek a boo | 50% | 40 |
| #10 | Steinert | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Sultan | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | h0ta | 46% | 24 |
| #13 | Thorshi | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibble | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | HEN9NG | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Magzter | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Rhan | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | sven | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEN9NG | 306 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dibble | 142 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | peek a boo | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | sven | 89 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thorshi | 82 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibble | +2.52 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Rhan | +2.17 | 74 | 48 |
| #3 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +1.62 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Steinert | +1.05 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | vexioz | +0.52 | 72 | 58 |





