








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 311 | 15% |
| Smokes | 713 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 536 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,384 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magmanificient | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | BBBBBERNT | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | aWard | 65% | 43 |
| #5 | vexioz | 63% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | BBBBBERNT | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | aWard | 65% | 43 |
| #5 | vexioz | 63% | 68 |
| #6 | AcEY | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vexioz | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | aWard | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | AcEY | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vexioz | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 117 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | aWard | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | AcEY | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Magmanificient | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhan | +3.96 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +3.05 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | vexioz | +1.15 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | AcEY | -0.33 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | aWard | -2.06 | 57 | 56 |





