








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5207 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3973 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2449 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3506 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,199 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibble | 65% | 62 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Vixine | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | kJERS7AD | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | chr1ss | 60% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Magzter | 58% | 33 |
| #8 | tjug0 | 54% | 52 |
| #9 | sven | 53% | 30 |
| #10 | Rascal | 47% | 19 |
| #11 | reels^ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1ss | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | kJERS7AD | 9 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Dibble | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | sven | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 241 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dibble | 210 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | chr1ss | 170 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | kJERS7AD | 159 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | sven | 128 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibble | +2.66 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +2.03 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | sven | +1.34 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Steinert | +1.09 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | chr1ss | +1.05 | 82 | 60 |





