








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 23% |
| Smokes | 920 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,985 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | aWard | 73% | 40 |
| #3 | BBBBBERNT | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Magmanificient | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | Rhan | 63% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhan | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | aWard | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | AcEY | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 136 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rhan | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | AcEY | 87 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Magmanificient | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | aWard | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhan | +3.86 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +3.35 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | vexioz | +1.73 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | AcEY | +1.00 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Magmanificient | -1.93 | 79 | 68 |





