








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5280 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4738 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4278 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3579 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,471,198 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | egoist | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | dray-k | 62% | 78 |
| #4 | Reciente | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Reciente | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | pissedvegetable | 55% | 49 |
| #7 | Bizzy Wizzy | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | CptCream420 | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 16 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Reciente | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 8 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | dray-k | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | CptCream420 | 6 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dray-k | 275 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | egoist | 260 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Reciente | 121 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | +5.44 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | type shit | +2.85 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Reciente | +2.43 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | GarthBricks | +0.46 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | dray-k | -0.16 | 75 | 61 |





