








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2045 | 36% |
| Smokes | 579 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1901 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,773,124 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2990 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | movement player | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | fluoridated | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | owo.verdose | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | 60% | 75 |
| #5 | peace:// | 55% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace:// | 22 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | owo.verdose | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | movement player | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace:// | 561 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | owo.verdose | 140 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | fluoridated | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | movement player | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | owo.verdose | +3.53 | 37 | 55 |
| #2 | peace:// | +3.40 | 32 | 48 |
| #3 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | +1.42 | 54 | 24 |
| #4 | masculine manly man | +0.18 | 48 | 41 |
| #5 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | -0.25 | 20 | 27 |





