








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1276 | 32% |
| Smokes | 747 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 767 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,019 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2902 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <#6d32a8>Mach1nka | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | masculine manly man | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Nowmell | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Nowmell | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | movement player | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | {DTF} Paige | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | movement player | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | {DTF} Paige | 6 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | <#6d32a8>Mach1nka | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | 3 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | Nowmell | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {DtF}Diddle Me Dis? Diddy Do It? | 68 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | movement player | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nowmell | 59 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | {DTF} Paige | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | masculine manly man | 24 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <#6d32a8>Mach1nka | +4.03 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | owo.verdose | +2.98 | 31 | 47 |
| #3 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | +2.82 | 63 | 25 |
| #4 | {DTF} Paige | +1.24 | 32 | 48 |
| #5 | 𝓼𝓾𝓼 | +0.02 | 26 | 24 |





