








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 640 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




247 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3557 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1880 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 685 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,088,024 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33946 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueCyanide | 54% | 95 |
| #2 | owo.verdose | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | adam | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | xhott | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | peace:// | 44% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | fluoridated | 44% | 170 |
| #7 | desu | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | dillon | 40% | 58 |
| #9 | Bipolar Bear | 37% | 75 |
| #10 | lil critter | 22% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace:// | 27 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | xhott | 18 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | lil critter | 16 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Bipolar Bear | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | owo.verdose | 13 | 0.0138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluoridated | 268 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | peace:// | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bipolar Bear | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | xhott | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | owo.verdose | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xhott | +5.87 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | owo.verdose | +5.72 | 28 | 37 |
| #3 | BlueCyanide | +3.55 | 64 | 33 |
| #4 | Bipolar Bear | +3.27 | 59 | 40 |
| #5 | dillon | +2.98 | 71 | 34 |





