








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1492 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,002 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enzo | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | ToxicAvocado | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | BarrelDickson | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | P4rma | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | Banda | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | CDJ | 57% | 134 |
| #11 | Cal | 55% | 66 |
| #12 | Lt. DanielSon | 53% | 32 |
| #13 | Triatomicpeak | 51% | 35 |
| #14 | Toiger | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4rma | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | GH0STP3TE | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Woolfy75 | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | CDJ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Cal | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 399 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Seph | 230 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lt. DanielSon | 177 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Banda | 167 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cal | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4rma | +3.25 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | GH0STP3TE | +2.89 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | Cal | +1.86 | 79 | 78 |
| #4 | Lt. DanielSon | +1.54 | 55 | 80 |
| #5 | BarrelDickson | +1.30 | 85 | 46 |





