








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 250 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2112 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3483 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2325 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2497 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,074 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. DanielSon | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | CDJ | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | 127mjb | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Cal | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | Randyman <3 | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | FemboyNova | 50% | 145 |
| #8 | Digi | 48% | 89 |
| #9 | Elcar0 | 48% | 90 |
| #10 | dr1ftrr | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | jonasthepanda | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FemboyNova | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Elcar0 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | CDJ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | The Reaper | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Digi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FemboyNova | 287 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | CDJ | 230 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Elcar0 | 195 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Digi | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cal | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. DanielSon | +3.76 | 56 | 75 |
| #2 | Cal | +2.21 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | FemboyNova | +1.24 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | jonasthepanda | +1.18 | 79 | 33 |
| #5 | 127mjb | +0.93 | 66 | 49 |





