








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1078 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1239 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1058 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,380 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. DanielSon | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Triatomicpeak | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | P4rma | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | The Reaper | 61% | 56 |
| #5 | CDJ | 55% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CDJ | 55% | 78 |
| #6 | Enzo | 54% | 37 |
| #7 | Son Goku | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Cal | 45% | 65 |
| #9 | Randyman <3 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Reaper | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Cal | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Randyman <3 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Enzo | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 203 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cal | 129 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | The Reaper | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lt. DanielSon | 47 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | Son Goku | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. DanielSon | +3.43 | 48 | 80 |
| #2 | P4rma | +2.32 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Son Goku | +2.29 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Cal | +1.59 | 76 | 76 |
| #5 | Randyman <3 | +0.40 | 62 | 45 |





