








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 984 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1990 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1963 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,919 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BarrelDickson | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | P4rma | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | Lt. DanielSon | 71% | 28 |
| #4 | Schmodda on YT | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | CLB o.O | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Enzo | 55% | 20 |
| #11 | Triatomicpeak | 52% | 29 |
| #12 | hitsy | 51% | 53 |
| #13 | Banda | 43% | 28 |
| #14 | cimok | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | CLB o.O | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | hitsy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | The Reaper | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Capybara | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 692 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cal | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Banda | 104 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lt. DanielSon | 104 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | CLB o.O | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4rma | +2.85 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | BarrelDickson | +2.23 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | Lt. DanielSon | +2.02 | 58 | 82 |
| #4 | Randyman <3 | +1.58 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | Cal | +1.31 | 77 | 79 |





