








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 300 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2764 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3741 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4320 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5084 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,202 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シ J A K E シ | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | Scotty | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Enzo | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Randyman <3 | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | Lt. DanielSon | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | WILS♡N | 50% | 22 |
| #13 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 50% | 26 |
| #14 | Zzz | 49% | 37 |
| #15 | Banda | 45% | 65 |
| #16 | Son Goku | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シ J A K E シ | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Randyman <3 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | CDJ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | The Reaper | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Zzz | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 323 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | ✪ kas | 243 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Banda | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lt. DanielSon | 159 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | シ J A K E シ | 125 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WILS♡N | +2.45 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Cal | +1.58 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪ kas | +0.88 | 71 | 76 |
| #4 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | +0.79 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | Lt. DanielSon | +0.52 | 57 | 79 |





