








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8095 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6373 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5336 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3462 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,971 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WinterShotx | 56% | 78 |
| #2 | A-A-ron | 47% | 236 |
| #3 | snailboy | 47% | 197 |
| #4 | P0okie | 45% | 222 |
| #5 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | A-A-ron | 47% | 236 |
| #3 | snailboy | 47% | 197 |
| #4 | P0okie | 45% | 222 |
| #5 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 45% | 119 |
| #6 | MadBlicky | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snailboy | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | P0okie | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | A-A-ron | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | WinterShotx | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0okie | 969 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | snailboy | 275 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | WinterShotx | 153 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | MadBlicky | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fG^Killfreak | +1.17 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | MadBlicky | +0.55 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | snailboy | +0.55 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | Drizzt Do'Urden | -0.36 | 45 | 59 |
| #5 | WinterShotx | -0.37 | 28 | 56 |





