








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3583 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7856 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5708 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3109 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,888,142 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0okie | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | A-A-ron | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | fG^Killfreak | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | WinterShotx | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0okie | 1576 | 0.24 | 45 min |
| #2 | fG^Killfreak | 704 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 281 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | WinterShotx | 225 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | A-A-ron | 72 | 0.01 | 2 min |





