








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1655 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1904 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2154 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,249 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MvPminor | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Perpetual Trash | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | Drizzt Do'Urden | 35% | 23 |
| #10 | fG^Killfreak | 31% | 29 |
| #11 | A-A-ron | 20% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeef | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | A-A-ron | 5 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | P0okie | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Goosemode | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Perpetual Trash | 2 | 0.0029 |





