








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8846 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7882 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6111 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7443 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,256 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caL | 20 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | barrett | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kody | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Penis Per Square Inch :D | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Jclutch | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barrett | +4.18 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | caL | +2.99 | 57 | 56 |
| #3 | ksm1th[sofrito] | +1.91 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | FatherSpiritSon | +1.65 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | De_Duck II | +0.81 | 70 | 63 |





