










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 609 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 286 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2101 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3665 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4455 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4494 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,746 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreamPieStar | 61% | 72 |
| #2 | Mrs,Jenkins | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | FatherSpiritSon | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | De_Duck | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | ksm1th[sofrito] | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FatherSpiritSon | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | De_Duck | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | ksm1th[sofrito] | 54% | 50 |
| #6 | Emfeva | 47% | 59 |
| #7 | De_Duck II | 47% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatherSpiritSon | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | De_Duck II | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | CreamPieStar | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Mrs,Jenkins | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | De_Duck | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De_Duck II | 290 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | CreamPieStar | 248 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | De_Duck | 243 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Emfeva | 143 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | FatherSpiritSon | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatherSpiritSon | +2.99 | 68 | 54 |
| #2 | ksm1th[sofrito] | +2.04 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | Mrs,Jenkins | +1.28 | 82 | 26 |
| #4 | Emfeva | +1.19 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | De_Duck | +1.02 | 70 | 58 |





