








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 984 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4351 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6482 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6971 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5868 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,955,305 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | De_Duck | 54% | 113 |
| #9 | De_Duck II | 52% | 82 |
| #10 | jazzy | 52% | 112 |
| #11 | franKѠッ | 49% | 83 |
| #12 | ChronDog | 37% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caL | 141 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | barrett | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Straight up jorkin it | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Dageaux | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | De_Duck II | 8 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caL | 1195 | 0.10 | 29 min |
| #2 | franKѠッ | 490 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #3 | De_Duck | 434 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | barrett | 346 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | De_Duck II | 315 | 0.19 | 8 min |





