










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1820 matches | ||
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




463 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
51704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 91,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21973 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12488 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 25100 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 32367 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,484,660 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Furry | 71% | 228 |
| #2 | spades^v^ | 71% | 378 |
| #3 | Goth Catgirl | 69% | 254 |
| #4 | caL | 58% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Furry | 71% | 228 |
| #2 | spades^v^ | 71% | 378 |
| #3 | Goth Catgirl | 69% | 254 |
| #4 | caL | 58% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Furry | 110 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | spades^v^ | 71 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | caL | 39 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Goth Catgirl | 13 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spades^v^ | 891 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Goth Catgirl | 713 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | caL | 482 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | Gay Furry | 288 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barrett | +2.92 | 75 | 48 |
| #2 | Gay Furry | +2.89 | 79 | 40 |
| #3 | spades^v^ | +2.53 | 85 | 44 |
| #4 | caL | +1.98 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | Goth Catgirl | +1.45 | 56 | 77 |





