








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Esplay | 47 matches | 1,634 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2628 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2165 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,632,910 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skug | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | faceit level 3 player | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | BastarD | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | GjertseN | 52% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaarder | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Tangz | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | GjertseN | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | RamboH | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | BastarD | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GjertseN | 491 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Gaarder | 251 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | faceit level 3 player | 242 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 238 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | BastarD | 197 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +5.46 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | thicboy21 | +2.52 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | +2.50 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | BastarD | +2.40 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | Tangz | +1.29 | 49 | 61 |





