








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3639 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3474 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4302 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2875 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,437 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R@cker | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Dinkleberg | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | weid1n | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Domsn10 | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | Übellomeister | 51% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Übellomeister | 51% | 204 |
| #6 | Stewie Griefin | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 48% | 65 |
| #8 | Dr. Bob | 45% | 64 |
| #9 | don donno | 45% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Übellomeister | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Domsn10 | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Dinkleberg | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | don donno | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don donno | 466 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 291 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dinkleberg | 213 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Übellomeister | 198 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Domsn10 | 159 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Übellomeister | +3.56 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | don donno | +1.11 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | Domsn10 | +0.64 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Dinkleberg | -0.10 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | R@cker | -0.37 | 64 | 63 |





