








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3995 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6498 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4009 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3854 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,042,165 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Domsn10 | 49% | 478 |
| #8 | weid1n | 48% | 113 |
| #9 | Captain | DasBaum | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | R@cker | 48% | 181 |
| #11 | Dr. Bob | 47% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domsn10 | 15 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Übellomeister | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | R@cker | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | don donno | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | weid1n | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don donno | 1415 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | Domsn10 | 721 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | Dr. Bob | 284 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 276 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Übellomeister | 268 | 0.06 | 9 min |





