








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2029 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3472 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2137 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,022,316 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | Stewie Griefin | 49% | 65 |
| #3 | don donno | 49% | 237 |
| #4 | Dinkleberg | 47% | 192 |
| #5 | G1. | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Übellomeister | 44% | 117 |
| #8 | Domsn10 | 43% | 239 |
| #9 | R@cker | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | weid1n | 38% | 107 |
| #11 | Captain | DasBaum | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Übellomeister | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Domsn10 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Dinkleberg | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | don donno | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | weid1n | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don donno | 827 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 355 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Domsn10 | 345 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dinkleberg | 293 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | weid1n | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Übellomeister | +3.77 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Domsn10 | +1.32 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | G1. | +1.14 | 89 | 53 |
| #4 | don donno | +1.11 | 64 | 75 |
| #5 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | -0.27 | 35 | 65 |





