








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Esplay | 65 matches | 1,873 | |
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2062 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2609 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,183 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kRiZ---- | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Kjendiss! | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | BB | Kiddinho | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Ole M | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | SagaGG | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ✪ Aspeladden | 46% | 41 |
| #16 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 46% | 26 |
| #17 | WarThorn | 39% | 18 |
| #18 | stianhay9 | 38% | 24 |
| #19 | Lokelars | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | AZZA | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ★★★Bizonking★★★ | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 295 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | AZZA | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ★★★Bizonking★★★ | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | LennYy | 94 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kRiZ---- | +3.36 | 85 | 79 |
| #2 | BB | Kiddinho | +2.60 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | +2.39 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | Jesp | +2.26 | 89 | 78 |
| #5 | Mantipanti | +1.10 | 79 | 68 |





