








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 187 matches | 2,080 | |
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5600 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2782 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3604 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3066 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,966 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slegga | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | RAJDER | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Bjorna | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | QU1TY^x | 57% | 92 |
| #5 | ✪ Hoppin | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BB | Kiddinho | 52% | 83 |
| #11 | Solzet | 50% | 105 |
| #12 | Bjarnis | 46% | 41 |
| #13 | Ingrid ♡ | 44% | 32 |
| #14 | J-Mark | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-Mark | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | pazzy | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | BB | Kiddinho | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | RAJDER | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | HbG | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HbG | 383 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | QU1TY^x | 296 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Solzet | 243 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | TazPig | 193 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mantipanti | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Hoppin | +4.22 | 93 | 77 |
| #2 | slegga | +3.19 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | pazzy | +2.99 | 95 | 49 |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | +2.05 | 87 | 61 |
| #5 | BB | Kiddinho | +1.35 | 79 | 76 |





