








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 26% |
| Smokes | 381 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,022 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Kyonor. | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | xRossFromFriends | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | BrAiNZ | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | Badmeester Joris | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | TAPED | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | vlamlars | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | Penthius | 52% | 21 |
| #12 | α¦ π©πΎπππΏπ α¦ | 50% | 26 |
| #13 | PapaJonko | 50% | 48 |
| #14 | RQBassie | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaJonko | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | RQBassie | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | α¦ π©πΎπππΏπ α¦ | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | βͺ Bart | 4 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | Panda | 3 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RQBassie | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | BrAiNZ | 80 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | βͺ Bart | 72 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Panda | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | PapaJonko | 55 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ Bart | +4.36 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | navvezzz LF1 | +3.71 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | Floz | +3.32 | 86 | 54 |
| #4 | BrAiNZ | +3.30 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | TAPED | +2.31 | 69 | 33 |





