








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3845 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2586 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,742 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penthius | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | xRossFromFriends | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Floz | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | Embrace | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | ✪ Bart | 62% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bart | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Floz | 7 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | BIG mouse | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Badmeester Joris | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Embrace | 4 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bart | 179 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | PoMo | 138 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | BIG mouse | 111 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Penthius | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Embrace | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoMo | +6.08 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | Embrace | +4.34 | 93 | 57 |
| #3 | Floz | +4.19 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | ✪ Bart | +3.54 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | xRossFromFriends | +2.43 | 82 | 58 |





