








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 983 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,301 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-Erik | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Floz | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | xRossFromFriends | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | βͺ Bart | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | BrAiNZ | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floz | 9 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | βͺ Bart | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | G-Erik | 7 | 0.0414 |
| #4 | PapaJonko | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | vlamlars | 5 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ Bart | 221 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | BrAiNZ | 136 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | RQBassie | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Floz | 64 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | PapaJonko | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ Bart | +4.72 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Floz | +3.53 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | BrAiNZ | +2.26 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | xRossFromFriends | +1.74 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | vlamlars | +0.91 | 66 | 55 |





