








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6322 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6009 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3941 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2793 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,497 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-Erik | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | ✪ Bart | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Brug | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | vlamlars | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | NW_ | 51% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | PapaJonko | 37% | 204 |
| #18 | Zolas | 35% | 43 |
| #19 | ღ 𝒩𝒾𝑒𝓀𝒿𝑒 ღ | 33% | 55 |
| #20 | Le Nut | 32% | 91 |
| #21 | Badmeester Joris | 22% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-Erik | 15 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | Le Nut | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | vlamlars | 11 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | PapaJonko | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | NW_ | 9 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Nut | 319 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ Bart | 313 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Penthius | 263 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | navvezzz LF1 | 193 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Brug | 150 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bart | +4.81 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | BANANAPEEK Jon | +4.23 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | navvezzz LF1 | +3.89 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Floz | +2.65 | 88 | 58 |
| #5 | G-Erik | +2.61 | 84 | 57 |





