








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4629 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3610 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4165 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3452 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,372 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oggloc | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Abu Bakr al Baghdadi | 55% | 98 |
| #3 | AliGeezz | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | tauski | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Mi Li | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jojo | 37% | 27 |
| #11 | DVNKLXRD | 37% | 38 |
| #12 | Sam | 36% | 28 |
| #13 | arttU | 35% | 23 |
| #14 | weekend warrior | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Bakr al Baghdadi | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | AliGeezz | 10 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Oggloc | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | DVNKLXRD | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | jojo | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Bakr al Baghdadi | 400 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Masa Mainio | 386 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Shadowcoins | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | tauski | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lalsu | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arttU | +2.52 | 52 | 69 |
| #2 | Saddam Hussein | +2.03 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Sam | +1.86 | 52 | 55 |
| #4 | tauski | +1.56 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Masa Mainio | +1.42 | 58 | 74 |





