








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 629 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11236 | 23% |
| Smokes | 14563 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10281 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 13134 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,635,806 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | weekend warrior | 45% | 135 |
| #14 | bEkoni | 43% | 61 |
| #15 | Lalsu | 42% | 86 |
| #16 | SUHINA | 41% | 118 |
| #17 | CBT Munalukko | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Oggloc | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Evita Kolmonen | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | SUHINA | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein | 9 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 456 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Saddam Hussein | 373 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | weekend warrior | 277 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Oggloc | 273 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | DVNKLXRD | 267 | 0.12 | 5 min |





