








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2389 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2106 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1936 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,825 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Laden | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 70% | 47 |
| #3 | Hasan Nasrallah | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | DVNKLXRD | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Shadowcoins | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Tunkki | 55% | 22 |
| #10 | tauski | 53% | 19 |
| #11 | Lalsu | 52% | 23 |
| #12 | AliGeezz | 52% | 27 |
| #13 | Mi Li | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saddam Hussein | 26 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 11 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | AliGeezz | 7 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | Tunkki | 4 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Hasan Nasrallah | 4 | 0.0186 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saddam Hussein | 307 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 137 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | AliGeezz | 103 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Masa Mainio | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mi Li | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |





