








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,453 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2903 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4580 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4663 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4997 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,643,922 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STNZ | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Creaticide | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Hapsu | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Hatsib♡b | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Waliho | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Tunkki | 36% | 112 |
| #15 | SUHINA | 33% | 30 |
| #16 | Kaakelberg | 33% | 43 |
| #17 | L3FA | 31% | 35 |
| #18 | bEkoni | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkki | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Kaakelberg | 10 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Saddam Hussein | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | tomaattilordi | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | urbanurger | 7 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkki | 363 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Masa Mainio | 227 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | urbanurger | 220 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein | 210 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | tomaattilordi | 180 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakelberg | +4.39 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Hapsu | +2.45 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | Sam | +2.23 | 53 | 56 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein | +2.15 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Tunkki | +2.12 | 79 | 63 |





