








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,598 | |
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 222 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5228 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5210 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5283 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4676 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $902,790 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | MunQsika | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | SIPERIANTIIKERI | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Henkka | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | arttU | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Masa Mainio | 48% | 73 |
| #12 | Tunkki | 46% | 176 |
| #13 | Lalsu | 41% | 27 |
| #14 | DVNKLXRD | 35% | 51 |
| #15 | weekend warrior | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkki | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Shadowcoins | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | arttU | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | DVNKLXRD | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkki | 500 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Shadowcoins | 458 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Masa Mainio | 248 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Henkka | 188 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | arttU | 185 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | +3.59 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | arttU | +2.32 | 55 | 66 |
| #3 | Tunkki | +2.08 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein | +1.65 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | Masa Mainio | +1.64 | 59 | 78 |





